After three months of long and frequent rehearsals, the play was finally here. Time to see whether the hours spent on that stage, memorising lines, songs, movements and dances would eventually pay off…And they did! The adrenaline rush of stepping out onto the stage that first night was immense! As we were performing in the round, my first scene in which I had to sing a snippet of ‘All Things Bright and Beautiful’ (a new theme tune of my nightmares), I was about a foot away from the audience, which was not great for my nerves.
One night when I went one for that song, I took my position and confidently looked up, only to make direct eye contact with one of my friends that came to see me, I have to say I was very proud of myself for not bursting out into laughter right then and there. To be fair though, my attention in that first scene was mainly consumed by the fact that the lights were shining directly into my eyes whilst I sung. So throughout that entire scene, I was mainly trying to figure out what an acceptable number of blinks would be - enough so that tears aren’t streaming down my face - but also not too many that people might think I’m having a fit! Despite that minefield on stage, the rest of the play was a hit. Obviously the rush you experience on stage is a big contributor to why you do a play, but for me, it was the time before we actually went on which was my favourite part:
The rehearsals beforehand. time spent with such a lovely cast. Meeting new people and socialising. However the best part of the play for me, was the allocated time spent away from my normal life. That couple of hours three times a week, in which I couldn’t really think about anything else but the play and my character. Time when you are able to just be away from everyday work and stresses, and instead just doing what you enjoy. I will admit, before the play started, I seriously considered pulling out. What with four A levels, volunteering and other extracurriculars (as well as wanting a social life!), the idea of taking on this other commitment seriously did not appeal to me. But I decided to give it a go, and I’m so grateful that I did.
I think when people generally think about relaxing, and ‘taking time for yourself’, they normally think of chill time. Time where you can just unwind and stick on a movie. And don’t get me wrong, that time is still very important to me (I would describe myself as a big TV and film buff), but equally, as I’ve gotten older, I felt like the time I spent trying to make myself relax and forget about my day-to-day stresses, just in-fact exaggerated them. For the 90 minutes the movie is actually on, it almost acts as background music for my spiralling mind. 90 minutes consumed by just picking apart every aspect of my life and myself, instead of just being able to sit back and enjoy that quiet time like a normal person. That was what was so good about the play, when you were rehearsing, you didn’t have time to think about your own life or worries. It was freeing.
This play has also led me to realise, that when any opportunity presents itself to me now, I should just say yes (within reason, obviously). Because now I always just think, in the future, when I’m looking back on my life, what kind of person do I want to be looking back on? A shy, timid creature that was too nervous to take risks and try new things, or a confident young woman that grasped every opportunity she could, and tried her hardest at everything she did? I’d prefer the latter. So, that was my round-about way of saying that I loved the play!
But with that now done, it’s time for my next event, which is singing at Bridgewater. No pressure. I say ‘no pressure’, one thing about me is when it comes to an upcoming performance, it is only about an hour before I have to perform that I really start to get nervous. This is a blessing in some ways, as I don’t lose sleep due to stress, but there is also that risk of becoming complacent, so that is just something I need to keep in check.
Anyway, wish me luck (I’ll need it!).
